The Beginning: Part II - Really Boring Background Stuff

Wow, I’ve already gotten derailed from making routine posts on here…and it’s only post #2. Go fig.

At any rate, I guess the thing to do would be to lay some background down on my life to date. This way, those that I haven’t spoke to in a while can get caught up. For those who already know what’s going on – this is just a review. This will be the Campbell’s Soup condensed version of the story. If I told the whole thing, we’d be here until Christmas. Deep breath…ready, set…

I made the decision a couple of years ago to go back to school and get my degree. I hadn’t done so after high school since I decided to serve my country and join the Marine Corps. [Doesn't that sound nice and altruistic? More accurately, I needed college money, so I figured I'd screw around in the Marines playing my flute for a few years to earn fundage.] After my military tour, I let myself become unnecessarily distracted with drama and other assorted issues (ugh!) for five years and still hadn’t gone back to school. The stars and planets finally aligned themselves in such a way to create life circumstances for me that were ripe for seeking intellectual enlightenment (for my urban friends: “gettin’ my learn on”). So, with my hair in pigtails, my Barbie lunch box packed, and my Montgomery GI Bill tucked away in my little book bag, I started classes at Northern Virginia Community College (hereafter referred to as “NOVA”) in the Spring 2006 semester.

By the way, did I mention that I’d be working full time AND going to school full time? It was as if I said to myself one day, “you know, who needs all this personal time or time with friends? I could be spending all that time with my nose either in a computer or in a book. Now THAT sounds like fun!” Don’t try that at home, kids. Take it from me; it sucks every bit as it sounds like it would. [Oh yeah, that’s another reason for a blog…I’ve actually had people inquire as to whether or not I was still, ahem, among the living. Figured I’d give all a literary shout out once in a while.]

At the time, I was in a pretty rewarding job, so the idea was to just go back to school, get my BS in Business Management and be done with it. Basically, put the piece of paper in my hand so I could wave it around and make more money. But, never happy with the status quo, that lasted all of one semester. [OK, the truth is I hated accounting class. Seriously, isn’t that what QuickBooks is for???? Put THIS in your ledger and smoke it!]

So I changed my major to Computer Science, quickly realizing that, though I am a bit of a nerd, I’m not THAT much of a nerd, thus prompting yet a second change in my major to Psychology.

A friend of mine once told me that people only major in Psychology to figure out what’s wrong with them. I don’t think that’s true. I think people major in Psychology because it’s like science-lite. It sounds impressive and complicated, but surprisingly lacks the substance I expected from a supposedly science-based major. Ya know that Underwater Basket Weaving degree everyone jokes about? I figured it out…it’s just a euphemism for Psychology majors. Yeah, it’s that easy.

So why did I even bother with a Psych degree, you may be asking. Well, it’s a long story, but the short version is this: I met an animal behaviorist at the Dulles Pet Expo who said that if I had a Masters or better in Psychology, she’d teach me how to be an animal behaviorist. Wow! How cool is that? I thought you had to be a veterinarian who specialized in animal behavior to get into that sort of thing! So, basically, I could skate through an easy BS program, make my way through a Masters program, go through that lady’s training for a few months and BAM! I’m an animal behaviorist. A short cut method to a really cool job (considering how much I love animals) and I don’t have to take calculus or chemistry. It doesn’t get any better than that.

I had it all figured out. I was going to become an animal behaviorist, quit my job and become self-employed as another Dog Whisperer. Or Cat Whisperer. Bunny Whisperer. Goldfish Whisperer. Three-toed Sloth Whisperer. Whatever. Then, as usual, I started thinking again, which prompted yet another shift in personal goals.


Crap. I’ve gone and made a long story again. Time for a potty break. Go get a snack and stretch your legs…we’ll pick this up again later.