Thought of the Day - Houdini TP

To all the public establishments (e.g., restaurants, sports arena, movie theaters, etc.) who in an effort to save a buck or two by equipping your restrooms with substandard one-ply toilet paper whose thickness cannot be measured without scientific-grade digital calipers, guess what?

It makes me use twice as much TP, if not more. How much money are you saving, now, Einstein??

I think, given the logic, nay, the implications of the situation, that my hiney deserves better, don't you, Mr. Restaurant Owner? Oh, I get it, you're so cheap, you're embarrassed about your squeaky butt, so you have to make mine squeak, too? WTF?!?!?!?!

I'm not asking for Egyptian cotton, people, I'm really not. But how cool would it be to use public facilities and not have the "bathroom tissue" dissolve away to nothing as soon as it hits moisture, leaving you wondering if it might be possible that you might have actually neglected to grab TP in the first place and instead decided to use your bare hand? The magnitude of that kind of cool-ness could be measured on the Richter scale, my friend, not scientific-grade digital calipers.

I swear, one of these days, I'm going to sneak into the men's rooms and replace all their urinal cakes with salt licks. How 'bout THEM apples, eh?